On Wings of an Angel
by tria246815
Summary: Kinda post ‘Silent Night’ Lindsay has started to lean more on Danny for support but she is still holding back. A really rough case sends her through a tail spin. When she doesn’t show up for work the next day..well..you’re just going to have to read it lo
1. Chapter 1

1On the Wings of an Angel

By Tria

rated: T for oh so many reasons. Just kidding mostly language and some content

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the CSI:NY characters, and I'm not entirely sure who they belong to so hey don't sue me I'm just a poor college student typing this up while sitting (fully clothed) in an empty bath tub. Lol. I'm not kidding.

Author note: this is my first CSI:NY fanfic I've done others for law and order svu but that's it. I hope I do it justice it's a great show. This is DL all the way.

Summary: Kinda post 'Silent Night' Lindsay has started to lean more on Danny for support but she is still holding back. A really rough case sends her through a tail spin. When she doesn't show up for work the next day...well..you're just going to have to read and find out now won't you. DL.

* * *

_Lindsay's POV_

With out blinking I unlock the door to the place that I've called home for the past 7 months or so. My body seems to be controlling itself as I make my way over to my couch, dropping the brown paper bag that I'd been clutching on the table in front of it. I dropped to the couch as if all energy had been pulled out of my body. My body ached all over, and silent tears ran down my face. The events of the day mixed in with my own horrific experiences in my mind. The case had brought back so many painful memories, that came back in horrific flashes. The case had involved the murder on an entire teenage slumber party, including the mother and father of the party girl. Although the scenario is not identical to mine, but it was close enough. The case had proven no cause for the attack. I've realized that I keep referring it as 'the case'. I'm not sure why. My therapist back in Montana would have surely said that it was my way of distancing myself from the events. Which I'm sure makes sense, but I've found a better way to forget. I lean forward and empty the brown paper bag of its contents, two bottles. One of whisky, the country's girls drink right? The other a simple bottle of wine. I know its not the best way to deal with my problems, but right now my body and my mind needs to forget.

I open the new bottle of whiskey and take my first sip, allowing the burn of the alcohol to run slowly down my throat. There is not need for a glass tonight, tonight is just about forgetting. I sit in silence as time passes and I self medicate myself with the bottle in my hand. The room is dark and all I can hear is the sound of the New York streets on the ground below. I can feel the effects of the alcohol, though I'm not entirely in an intoxicated state. Thoughts of today's 'case' keep leaking back into my conscious thoughts, and every time one did I'd take another drink.

The sound of my phone ringing broke through the silence of the room. I look at the phone but don't have the energy to answer. After the third ring it goes the answering machine. "_Hey. It's Lindsay. I can't come to the phone right now, after the beep you know what to do. Cyah."_

I sound happy in my greeting, and right now I find that sickening, I shouldn't be happy. The thick Statan Island accent of Danny Messer came through the "_Umm Hey Lindsay. I know that today hit ya kinda hard, and I just wanted to know how you were." _There is a pause as if he was trying to find the words to express what he really wanted to say. He sighed _"Well, call me if you need anything. I mean It Lindsay **Anything**. I'll be over there in a flash. Guess I'll see ya tomorrow. Bye."_

He called me Lindsay, not Montana. He's really worried, I hate that I worry him. Part of me hates that he cares. If there is no one that cares, there is no one to let down right? On the other hand like he had pointed out before. They had this 'thing'. I've come to terms with this before. That me the Montana native had fallen for the stereotypic New Yorker. The Staten Island Italian had taken my by surprise, and it was not something that I had planned on happening. It scares me. With my past I've taken pride in not letting my self loose control, especially in front of others. With only one touch Danny can make me loose all control and that scares me. What if I loose control and tell him everything? Lets face it, I'm broken. Nobody wants someone who's broken.

Though I try to distance myself from him, I can't deny that I need him. I've never needed anything so much, and the thought terrifies me. I should need anything. Need is a weakness, and that's the last thing I need is more weakness.

I take another swig of whisky and the thoughts in my head get fuzzy. This is what I need.

One last long swig and I put the whisky on the table and grab the bottle of wine. I stumble to the one place that I feels safe. No, its not my bedroom. I lean against the wall for support for a moment in my bathroom, and try to focus on the buttons on the CD player that I keep in there. When I finally find the right one I climb into the tub and lay down with the bottle of wine. Cold water from the slow leak in the spout drips slowly on my toes. Music fills the room with a song that I felt fit the situation.

"_You brought that bottle home in a paper sack  
Drew the blinds and locked the doors  
And there's nothing but empty there inside that glass  
So you pour a little more  
And there's no one there to judge you  
At least that's what you tell yourself, but _

Don't you know  
Nobody drinks alone  
Every demon, every ghost  
From your past  
And every memory you've held back  
Follows you home  
Nobody drinks alone

You remember whiskey on your daddy's breath  
So you always stick to wine  
And you scared your little brother half to death  
You just kept it all insideYou can hear your mama cryin'  
Only now she cries for you, and

Don't you know  
Nobody drinks alone  
Every demon, every ghost  
From your past  
And every memory you've held back  
Follows you home  
Nobody drinks alone

Though you're lonely  
Hey don't you let that feelin' fool ya

Don't you know  
Nobody drinks alone  
Every demon, every ghost  
From your past  
And every memory you've held back  
Follows you home  
Nobody drinks alone

Nobody drinks alone"

I close my eyes as the song ends and enter unconsciousness.

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Sorry its kinda short this is kinda just like an intro. Please let me know what you think. The next chapter should be up really soon.

Tria


	2. Chapter 2

On Wings of an Angel

Chapter 2

Rated: T

Disclaimer: Same as last chapter

Authors notes: Hey guys I know the last chapter was short. Like I said it was really just really a intro, though I'm not one for long chapters. That's the ADHD in me. Lol. I hope you guys like this chapter better. Please let me know what you think. I would like to thank _Sandy, MesserMontana4ever, chili-peppers, and xbexyboox. _For your input it means a lot to me that you took the time to let me know what you though.

T

* * *

_Danny's POV: The next Morning 8am_

I quickly stroll through the doors of the lab. I'm trying not to look like I'm on a mission, but I am. I wanna make sure that Lindsay was ok. She hadn't called me back last night and I still worry. She's normally the first to arrive from our shift. I made a stop on my way in today to pick up some coffee and breakfast for the both of us, because I know she normally skips breakfast. I check every room on the way as I walk down the hall to our office. '_Our' _office, I like that. When Mac first told me that I would have to share my office with the new girl, a was upset to say the least. Now it's the one place that we share together. I'm not going to lie. Everyday I catch glimpses of her while I pretend to be working. Quit a few times she has caught me and called me out on it, but I just smirk and shrug it off.

I turn the corner into our office and am disappointed to see that she's not there. My brow wrinkles in worry as I look over at the clock. She's normally here by now, nothing to worry about right, it probably just traffic?

I know I'm just trying to rationalize, and I hope that I'm right. I put the bag of food and coffee on Lindsay's desk , and take a seat at my own. The only think I can do now is sit and wait. I grab a case file that's sitting on my desk, and start to fill out the needed paper work. Though it is soon apparent that I'm not going to get much work done. I throw my glasses in my desk and rub my tired eyes. I had barely gotten any sleep last night, because I spent the night on my couch by the phone waiting for her to call.

Ten minutes pass and she's still not in. I pick up my phone and call her cell phone...nothing. I hang the phone up before keying in her home number, which I've grown to know by heart...Still nothing. Damn it!

I lace my fingers behind my head and let out an audible sigh. I close my eyes and see her face, which is something that's been happening more and more lately.

"Hey Danny boy, you're here early." a voice says from the door way.

I open one eye to see Flack leaning on the door frame. I don't say anything I just look at him and nod.

"You look like _someone_ keep you up all night." he says in his usual sarcastic tone.

"You can say that." I say opening my other eye.

"So where is Ms. Monroe this fine morning anyway?" he asks with a chuckle

I shoot him a glare. "I don't know. That's why I'm here early today. She was really down after yesterday and she didn't return my call last night. I wanted to talk to her, but she hasn't come in yet."

"That's not like her, on her standards she about an hour late." he says with a little bit of concern in his voice.

"I know. I've called her cell and her apartment, but got nothing."

"Huh. We've got some time before shift officially starts. Did you wanna go check out her apartment to see if she's there?" he asked

I glance and the clock again. "Yeah let me go tell Mac where we're going."

xxXXxx

_Apartment of Lindsay Monroe_

As we reach her door I knock on the door. I few seconds pass before I knock again, only this time louder in what Lindsay called my 'Cop Knock'. Still nothing. I give Flack a worried look, as I begin to fish through my pockets for my key ring. I take it out and locate the key to her door.

"You have a key to her Apartment?" Flack asks

"Yeah. So what?"

"Nothing Danny...Nothing at all." he says with a smirk

I open the door and start to look around. Flack stays right behind me as if he feels out of place. She's not in the bedroom, kitchen, or living room.

"May be she's on her way to the lab now Danny." Flack says

I ignore him and take in more of the room. I can see the Whisky bottle on the coffee table. Things were worse then I thought. Lindsay was not a drinker. Her shoes were sitting in front of the couch. She's in the Apartment and I know where.

"She's in the bath tub." I say turning to Flack.

"Wait she's late for work and you think she's taking a Bath?"

I head toward her bathroom and swing open the door. I can hear Don behind me yelling "Danny what the hell are you doing, give her some privacy."

"DAMN IT!!" I yell

Flack come running into the bathroom. "OMG Lindsay."

Just as I expected she was laying fully clothed in the bathtub. What I had not expected was the bottle of wine. In addition to the whiskey, she had drunk herself to the point of passing out. She's still breaking so I know she's ok. Flack takes out a phone and starts to call a bus, but I stop him.

"She's fine Don. Just extremely drunk."

He nods. "How'd ya know she'd be in the tub?"

"She told me one that it's the one place she feels safe. Kinda like her safe haven."

"Oh ok. That's weird."

"No its not." I says as I brush my hand against Lindsay's face. "Montana, honey. I need you to wake up."

She squirms a little but doesn't open her eyes. "Lindsay. It's me Danny. You have to wake up now."

She groans and pops one eye open. "Danny?"

"Yeah its me honey, you need to wake up."

She opened both eyes and took in her environment. "Danny what's Flack doing here?"

"You're late for work and we came to check on you."

At that she jumped up, but a little to fast and fell back down grabbing her head. "Ouch. My head is killing me."

"Yeah Montana it's called a hang over." I say with a chuckle.

" I need to get ready for work." she said

"No you don't I'll call Mac and tell him you sick ok. How about we get you into bed?"

"I don't wanna get up." she murmured before closing her eyes again.

I'm surprised when she doesn't resist, as I pick her up out of the tub. She instead wraps her arms around my neck and snuggles her head in the crock of my neck. I smile and carry her carefully to her bedroom.

"Hey Flack in her bathroom cabinet there should be a bottle of aspirin, could you bring it to me with a bottle of water from the fridge?" I ask as I lay her down gently.

A few seconds later he's back and hands me both bottles. "Linds, I'm gonna need you to sit up and take this it'll make you feel better." she groaned before accepting the two pills and taking a sip of the water. "Did you wanna put some pajamas on?" I ask her. She nods but is soon back to sleep.

With out a second though I head over to her dresser and start picking out something for her to sleep in. "Your gonna dress her?" Flack asks

"Yeah, she'll be more comfortable."

"Man you've got it bad." He smirks

"I do not"

"Whatever Man. Do you have everything under control here I gotta get back or my Captain will kill me."

"Yeah go ahead. Thanks for coming with me. I'll call Mac and let him know what's going on."

"No problem bro, take good care of her."

"I will."

I hear Flack leave the Apartment before I head back over the bed with a pair of black sweat pants and a T-shirt from her dresser. "Montana. You awake. I'm gonna try and get you changed ok." But she didn't respond, she was out cold. I very carefully lift her up slightly and pull the shirt she is currently wearing over her head, she didn't even still. I replace it with the clean shirt from her dresser, which proved to be somewhat more difficult then I though but I did it. Next step was her pants. I'm not going to lie to you and say that the action of me unbuttoning her pants and pulling then down didn't turn me on, but that's not what this was about. With any other girl I would have looked at this in a very sexual manner, but this wasn't any other girl this Was Lindsay "Montana" Monroe. My Montana. It was all about sex before I met her, now I'm just as content making sure she is safe and comfortable. Not that I don't want her, She doesn't realize that even the simplest things that she does turns me on. I know that she needs time. She needs me just to be there, and first time in my life I'm ok with that with a girl. I'm pretty sure Flack was right I have fallen for her. I've got it bad for a small town girl from Montana.

After she's dressed, I pull the comforter over her and leave the bedroom shutting the door behind me.

I take out my cell phone and call Mac.

"_Taylor"_ He answers

"Hey Mac, It's Danny. I Found Lindsay."

"_Is she Alright."_

"Not really She's really Sick, when Don and I found her she was Passed out in the Bath tub." I explain. Well its not a complete lie, I just left out the part about her being drunk and having the hang over of the century. "I was wondering if I could have the day off to help take care of her."

"_Well it's pretty slow around here, I don't have a problem with that. Just make sure she's ok."_

"Got it Mac, Thanks."

"_No problem, Tell Lindsay I hope she feels better."_

" I will, Cyah later."

"_Bye."_

I shut my phone and put it back in my pocket. I start picking up them mess that Lindsay left the night before. I put her shoes bye the door, hung her jacket on the hanger, and poured the remaining Whisky down the drain. She can't be dealing with her problems this way, from now on I'm gonna stay right by her side.

When if finish I walk back to her room and open the door slightly to check on her. She's still sleeping. Or so I thought, when I started to close the door again I heard her call my name.

"Yeah Linds." I reply.

"Do you think you could lay with me?" She murmurs almost inaudibly

I'm silent for a moment, wondering if it would be suck a good idea. She could kick my ass in the morning, but at this point it was worth it. If she needed me I wasn't going to say no. I make my say from the door way to the bed and kick off my shoes. I lay down next to her and pull her protectively against my body. She seems comfortable with it because she snuggles her head closer on my shoulder. I'm not sure if she's awake or not but I whisper to her. "Montana, I'll always be here for you. And what ever your going though, you can tell me and we'll work though it together." she doesn't say anything so she probably asleep. Even quieter I whisper "I Love you." Its not long before I drift off to sleep myself.

* * *

Well thats all for now Please please . let me know what you think. Any suggestions for what you would like to see happen next would be greatly appreciate it. so please Review


	3. Chapter 3

On Wings of an Angel

Rated: T

Disclaimer: See chapter 1

Authors Note: Hey guys I'm back, how was everyone's Holidays. I had an Awesome time. (Sigh) but now back to work and school, right. That's always the worst part. Guess I'm kinda lucky though my next semesters classes don't start until January 8th. Well I wanted to thank Chili-peppers, Serenity2bliss, xbexyboox, prplerayne, and DarkAngelJT. For taking the time to let met know what they though thank you so much guys

Chapter 3

_Lindsay's POV_

Have you ever been so asleep, and so comfortable that when you wake up you have no idea where you are? Well that's just about how I feel right now. I'm awake but I don't dare open my eyes. I couldn't tell you where I am or what time it is but I can definitely tell is that there is a pair of comforting strong arms keeping me there. I'm almost afraid to know who it is, because I'm not sure how I got where I am now.

I know I have to so I take a deep breath and open my eyes. I'm not quit sure it its possible, but I think my heart just leapt. Here in my bed with is arm pulling me tightly to him is the one and only Danny Messer. I'm relieved to find that we are both fully clothed, though I don't remember putting my pajamas on. I try to think back to the last thing I remember, which was sitting back in my living room, drinking. Had I called him? I remember him leaving a messages but I don't remember calling him back.

In the middle of my thought Danny Stirs and opens his eyes. He smiles that lopsided grin of his, and I return it with one of my own.

"Hey, sleeping beauty. How ya feeling, Better?"

My face burns red at his comment. I'd have to say there are worse ways to wake up. "Yeah, I guess...How did I get here?"

He let out a small chuckle. " You were late for work this morning and..."

"I WAS WHAT!!?? OH MY GOD, MAC IS GONNA KILL ME" I cut him off.

He laughs again. "Would you let me finish Montana. You were late and I got worried. After yesterdays you looked like something was really bugging you. So when you were late I was concerned and Flack and I came over to check on you. We found you passed out in the bathtub. I took ya out and put you in bed. Then I called Mac said you were really sick and he gave us both the day off."

I'm quite for a moment as I try to think back to last nights events. I do remember making it to the bathtub, but that was it and I remember being in my work cloths. "How did I get into my pajamas?"

His cheeks burn red this time as he answers. " While I was putting you in bed. I asked you if you wanted to get changed and you said yes, but you passed out again. So I uhh..changed you."

OK so Danny Messer changed my clothes. That breaks so many of my rules to living self-sufficiency in New York. I'm not upset though, which surprises me. The man just told me that he undressed me in my sleep, and I'm not mad. I guess because I know that he only did it cause he was trying to take care of me.

I guess I've ben quite for a while because he loosens his grip around me and asks me if I wanted him to get up, thinking I was mad at him.

"No. Don't. I want you to stay."

"Really?" He asks as he looks into my eyes.

I nod. "Ok so we've gotten to how I got into my bed into my pajamas, but how did YOU end up in my bed?" I ask with a laugh.

"You asked me to lay with you." he says with a nervous smile.

"Really"

"Yeah"

"Well I'm kinda glad I did. Thank you so much for helping me Danny." I say as I snuggle into him a little more.

"It was my pleasure Ms. Monroe. Now how about we get up and I make you breakfast..or seeing as it is now 2, lunch."

"Danny, you've already done too much for me. You probably think I'm a horrible person. I don't show up for work, then you find me passed out drunk in the bath tub. In all honesty, I have no idea what your still doing here. I don't deserve you taking care of me"

He sighs, and is quite for a while. I look into his eyes to try and figure out what he's thinking. He lightly grabs my chin with his thumb and pointer finger, and looks me directly in the eyes. "Lindsay, I don't want to hear you ever..EVER say something like that again. You are the most amazing person that I've ever meet. Your caring, Intelligent, and.."

"And Apparently a drunk." I cut him off

"Hey." He says brushing his thumb across my lips to stop me from continuing. "You've done something that the majority of the people I know thought was impossible...You've changed me. You have taken this smart ass Staten island player, and created the man holding you now."

"And how the hell did I supposedly do this?"

"By just being you, and putting up with my crap. I can honestly say that I've never done this for any girl. I was up all night last night because you hadn't called me, and I was so worried. I came into work early to talk to you and when you didn't show up I started freaking out"

I'm starting to cry now and he rubs the tears from my face. "I'm sorry. I wish...I just..Why me?"

He opens his mouth to say something, but then closes it and shakes his head. "Do you know what I did last week?"

I shake my head no and he continues. "I bought a Country CD, cause it reminded me of you. You have shaken my world up Lindsay, and I like it. I'm pretty damn sure that I ..uh.. I love you too. I have fallen so far in love with you that I can't get out, and wouldn't even if I could."

At his confession I release myself from his grip and leave the bed. "You don't want me." I mumble. I turn away from him, because I can't stand to see the hurt on his face. I stand with my arms crossed in front of me, while I look out the bedroom window. I hear his foots steps leave the room, and I'm sure he's left. They tears fall freely down my face.

I jump as a pair of arms wrap themselves around my waist, and his head rests itself on my shoulder. God does he know what he does to me when he touches me. "Dance with me." he says into my neck. His hot breath causes chills to run down my body.

"What?" I ask surprised

"Dance with me." He repeats

"Danny there isn't even any music."

He reaches behind us and grabs the remote to my CD Player, and presses play. He spins me around in his arms and pulls me close, and the music begins to play. My arms wrap instinctively around his neck. He quietly sings along with the song in my ear as we sway.

"_So here you are now, nowhere to turn  
It's just the same old yesterday  
And you made a promise to yourself  
That you were never gonna be this way  
And the only thing that you've ever known is to run  
So you keep on driving faster into the sun _

Cause everybody needs somebody sometimes  
Yeah, everybody needs somebody sometimes

Don't have to find your own way out  
You gotta voice, let it be heard  
Just when it feels you're on a dead end roadThere's always somewhere left to turn

So don't give up now  
You're so close to a brand new day  
Yes, you are and if you just can bear to be alone  
I'll stay

Cause everybody needs somebody sometimes  
Yeah, everybody needs somebody sometimes

Well, maybe I been too caught up to see  
What you've been going through and all that I can say is I'm here now.

Oooo, yeah

And everybody needs somebody sometimes  
Yeah, everybody needs somebody sometimes  
Everybody needs somebody sometimes  
A little left to save  
Everybody needs somebody sometimes  
Gotta have someone beside you  
Gotta have someone beside you  
Yes, ya do, yes, ya do  
Everybody, everybody needs somebody sometimes"

As the songs ends all I can do is look at him. "How'd ya know about that song?" I ask

"Well that's the CD I bought."

"I love Keith Urban." I say with a smile, though the tears still fall from my face.

"I know that's why I bought it, I told you it reminded me of you."

My smile turns to a frown and I pull away. "It wouldn't work Danny."

"And Why wouldn't it?"

"Because you deserve so much better then me. You can have any woman you wanted. You should be happy"

"I want you Lindsay, and no one else. You're the one that makes me happy."

"Danny, you just don't get it. I'm...well..I'm broken. I can't give everything that you deserve."

He takes his hand and places it on the side of my face and brushes away a few stray tears. "I know there are some things that you don't want to talk about right now, and that's fine. Though I don't think you should keep them to yourself, and I eventually want you to talk to me about them. I don't want everything, I just want you. I'm here now and there is only one way that I'm leaving. All you have to do is look me in the eyes right now and tell me that you don't feel anything between us, that you don't feel the same way I do, and that you don't want me here."

I know I should let him go, for his sake, but I just can't do it. I Love him too, I'm just not ready to let him know that yet. I look into his eyes and try to think of something to say, but can't. I throw my arms around his neck, hugging him closely, as I continue to cry.

He starts to sing and I realize that the CD player is still on, only this time half way though I start singing with him. It's my new favorite song.

"_Winter's weighing on your shoulders  
It's hanging around a little too long  
And I can see it in your eyes  
You've taken on a load that's just too strong  
Oh, but let me get down to the heart of the matter  
Baby, if you want I can make it better now _

When the sun is hard to find  
When it's raining in your eyes  
When the shadows block those pretty little blue skies living inside you  
When the falling of your tears, makes a candle disappear  
When you just can't see the light  
Baby, I'll find a way to shine  
I'll find a way to shine

Everybody's got a cross to carry  
Everybody's got a story they can tell  
Ya know you're not the only one counting on a quarter and wishing well  
Woah don't you sit there with your heart under lock and key  
Gimmie one chance baby, I can set you free

When the sun is hard to find  
When it's raining in your eyes  
When the shadows block those pretty little blue skies living inside you  
When the falling of your tears, makes a candle disappear  
When you just can't see the light  
Baby, I'll find a way to shineI'll find a way to shine

Sometimes in this life good luck don't shine like it suppose to do  
When there's no one you can trust and they just keep on giving up on you  
Baby, don't ya know that I won't ever let ya down  
Come on now, wooo

Oh, don't sit there with your heart under lock and key  
Just gimmie one chance and baby, I can set you free

When the sun is hard to find  
When it's raining in your eyes  
And the shadows block those pretty little blue skies living inside you  
When the falling of your tears, makes a candle disappear  
And you just can't see the light  
Baby, I'll find a way to shine  
I'll find a way to shine  
Find a way to shine  
Find a way to shine  
You know I'll find a way

Find a way, find a way

Find a way to shine"

"Did you really buy this CD?" I ask as the song ends.

"Yeah I did. What can I say if its something you like, how can I hate it. I actually listened to it last night, when I was thinking of you"

I smile. "Danny why are you so good to me."

"Because you deserve it. Now how about we go out for lunch?"

"Sounds good to me, but first let me get changed." I say as I finally let go of him. I know things are going to change now, but I'm not as afraid anymore. It's time for me to move on.


End file.
